By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
