what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
