Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
