Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
