My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
