Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
