Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
