ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
