I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
