Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
