They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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