That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Four minutes until I can fart!
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
