So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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