id be glad to
I wish I only lived at night.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
