shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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