I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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