your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Randomize