It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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