If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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