I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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