no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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