So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize