I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
