i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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