I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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