She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
