If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
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