How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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