that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize