the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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