Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
