Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
