Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
