So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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