i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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