this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
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