Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
