I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
