How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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