it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
