God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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