I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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