her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Randomize
