Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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