I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
