Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
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