i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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