that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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