Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
