There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
