just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
