i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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