Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
