i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Ketchup is God's man juice
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
