We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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