he wants to bone in the snuggie
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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