from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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