God, you're like boner-b-gone
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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